Do you love yourself?
There are a lot of books, articles and even songs about loving ourselves, and still, for many of us, this is an unexplored territory.
Usually, when people talk about self-love, they advise to pamper yourself and take care of your body.
I want to offer you to look at the question of a tender relationship with ourselves from a different angle. Or rather, I want to show you not so obvious examples of dislike to ourselves.
Set the table for yourself!
Years ago, a colleague of mine told me how her fiancé took care of her. Among other things, what I no longer remember was the fact that he beautifully laid out food on a plate. “Not as we usually do for ourselves: everything is piled up and dumped.” Do you know why I remember that? – Right, because it resonated! Very few of us care about a pleasant dinner for ourselves. We can take care of husband, children… and when the kids are already asleep and the husband is on a business trip, how well does your dinner look? Does it even exist?
Self-love and personal boundaries
Oh, man, how many times we heard about that, but it is a little too hard when we start practising it!
We are afraid to offend everyone around! We happily allow other people to point out our real and imagined shortcomings. You are dressed inappropriately, you do not tidy up right, you do not educate your children as necessary, you breastfeed wrong, you are bad because you don’t breastfeed. You kiss your husband in a wrong way, your relations with your mother-in-law are not good enough. You don’t have enough friends, you have too many friends. And, I almost forgot, the best one: you are too fat/too thin!
In short, you do not owe anything to anyone except mutual love, so stop excusing yourself and be brave in protecting your soul from people who have a lot of free time and think that they can decide how you must live! Imagine that someone says something like that to your kids? Aha!
Try to remember yourself when you were in love. What was your top priority? Money-apartment-car – wrong answers. The most important thing was to be together as long as possible. And it does not matter that you needed to get up for work in a couple of hours. Talk about nothing, long goodbyes, long phone conversations. You did everything to extend this magical time together!
How much time do you spend alone with yourself? I can honestly say, for all those who are afraid, a minuscule amount of time. You’ll be lucky if you hit zero. Don’t be shy, you are not alone. So, let’s start together to take at least 10 minutes a day. This will significantly help to deal with emotional burn-out and will not let you forget who you are! When I remembered who I am last time I was pleasantly surprised.
You deserve it!
I am not sure if there exist any people who did not hear this advertising slogan. And today I will not encourage you to buy quality cosmetics, go to the Spa or beauty salon. These are all the right things, especially if they bring you pleasure, but these are only the consequences of self-love. I want to encourage you to praise yourself! Every woman (especially mom!) manages to do many useful things during the day. And many of these chores are not pleasant at all. Each of us is worthy of praise for what we do every day! We can’t always get it from loved ones, but we can always praise ourselves. And there is nothing surprising in praising yourselves! This is even useful because this way you learn to appreciate yourself and your work, and in addition, develop a habit of noticing what people are doing around. They are also worth praising.
The day of St. Lazybone.
That’s what my mother-in-law calls the days when you don’t do anything useful. A day that belongs only to you, your sofa and anything that can entertain you. These days happen in my life when all those “necessary” can not force me to do something or just to move. Usually, we can’t fully enjoy “doing nothing” because of a strong sense of guilt. And it is wrong, because if such days are not the norm for you but you often have those feelings of tiredness, then maybe your body hints that you need to rest. And what can show your love to yourself better than a caring attitude to own body!?
In conclusion, I want to quote MARC CHERNOFF:
We have to learn to be our own best friends, because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. We love the idea of others loving us, and we forget to love ourselves.
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